The Cycle
Lord knows I know it’s the time loop again, but it doesn’t save me from my mother’s cynicism or my father’s features. Today I am trying to be mindful & trying to sit down without criticizing my own face down to the molecule. Today I am trying to be smart & trying to calculate the exact percentage of my genes that are mutations and belong to neither of my parents. Experts say the brain tends to suppress trauma so lord does everyone’s childhood feel this miniscule or do I need to speak to a therapist; experts say seeing is believing so who do I need to see to stop being so fucking scared all the time? Doc, I'm serious about getting better it's just scary to change my routine. Doc, who do I talk to about this feeling of shame that won’t go away? Lord, I’m in the time loop again and this time I’m saving nobody.